hahah! we really do have an awesome God! this day was amazing!

share ko lang.

kaninang umaga, kinakausap ko si Lord. sabi ko nakakapagod po talaga magplano. e kasi naman sa pagplaplano ko siyempre hindi lang naman buhay ko ang apektado. damay lahat ng mahal ko. nakakapagod na maghintay. ang dami ko kasing pinagdadasal e. ayan patong-patong na tuloy yung hinihintay kong mga sagot. nakakapagod mag-isip ng solusyon sa mga problema. hay.. kahit kasi simpleng bagay problemahin daw ba?

and then it hit me.

kaya pala ako napapagod kasi umaasa ako sa lakas ko.  erase, erase. start ulit ako ng bagong prayer. sabi ko handa po akong maghintay. kasi kung anuman po yung ibibigay Niyo na sagot, alam ko it will be worth all the wait. dadating yun pag handa nang ibigay ni God at siguro pag handa na rin ako na tanggapin yun.

aba! akalain mo yun, kaninang mga bandang mag-a-alas onse ng umaga nasagot yung isa! naiyak ako sa tuwa. sa isip ko salamat po. ok nako dun kasi may nasagot ng isa. pero may ‘but wait there’s more!’ pa pala si God na hinanda para sa akin. kasi kaninang mga mag-a-alas kwatro nasagot ulit yung isa! iyak ulit ako. pero tumatawa na din ako. may pagkaSisa nga yung dating ko kanina. buti walang pumasok sa culture room/batcave. solo ko, ok lang na mag-act-act ako ever. ok talaga ang araw na ito. hindi pala ok, more than ok, it was awesome. amazing.

ulitin ko ha? our God is REALLY an awesome God.

He provides.

kelangan lang talaga maghintay.

magtiwala.

at dapat hindi rin makalimutang magpasalamat!

Praise God!

- March 7,2007; sa bagong Marine lab, MSI

They say our heart is the size of a fist. But amazingly, it can hold not only just the pumping of your blood but also the thousands of emotions you feel inside.

Hahah! Since this is my blog let’s talk about my heart! (lucky me! J)

My heart had its share of beatings (literally and figuratively.. J). I’m guessing that it’s pretty normal considering I’ve had it for almost 23 years now. Heheh.. It beats fast when I’m hurt, excited, nervous or scared. Normal, right? The thumping reaches my ears and sometimes when my emotions are in complete turmoil my brain seems to seize working and my heart gets all the attention.

My heart, unfortunately, does get hurt (awww.. hahah..). And I have this ‘so unlikely of me’ urge to write down what it goes through when its not on its better days.

Ok, so obviously it starts with me seeing the object\ the thing\ the cause of this so-called hurt. And when finally the signal from my eyes, passing through my brain reaches my heart. BIG THUMP THUMPS starts. Then the loud beating is immediately followed by a feeling of constriction. My heart is squeezed hard and breathing gets a bit difficult. I also feel some kind of coldness (can’t find a better word for it). I feel cold and numb, with the hairs on my arms standing on its tips. I have to force my eyes to shut for a second and then open to look again on this something. BIG THUMP THUMPS continues.

After what seems an eternity (may ganun.. J), my heart begins to beat normal again. Yes, very slowly my heart stabilizes and it is usually accompanied by tears running down my face when I’m hurt (hahah.. Surprise! I do cry), a heartfelt laugh or should I say a very piggishly snort when I’m excited or happy or a loud scream when I’m scared.

I remember one particular hurt thingy event. I didn’t cry at that moment. I can’t cry. But my heart did normalize and my brain starts functioning again and the first thought that it processed was for me to get a grip. To get a hold of myself.

SUCCESS! My heart once again survives! It goes back to its normal work of pumping maybe not as good as new but much stronger than before.

Too bad our hearts are just the size of our fists. Maybe it could work better if its bigger. More room. Harder to squeeze. But just like what David has proven bigger does not necessarily mean better or stronger (hahah.. I just have to put that in ^_^).

My heart is small but every time it survives, it gets bigger. Not in size but inside (the ‘inside’ of my inside heart actually exists or so I believe.. hahah..).

And that ends my very first entry in my very first blog! (applauds self J) hahah!

Pardon any wrong grammar or cheesy lines you may have found here. Corrections and comments will be taken with gratitude. That is if there are still some people (hopefully my ever loyal friends ^_^) who will take time to read my ramblings.

To you, good person with a good, healthy heart, a big thank you and a kiss upon request (hahah! makapangmanyak lang! ^_^)

- (March 6, 2007; culture room, MSI)